Thursday, February 28, 2013

Submission Helpful Hints

Many people have trouble with learning submission.  It's hard.  But these little things help along the way.  I used to think they were trivial, but they are actually very important in the process of learning how to submit to your husband.  Submission means trusting with your whole heart.  Anything he asks you to do, you do, because you know that he loves you and will only do things that are good for you, honor you, make you better, draw you closer and protect you.

Here are some little things to help you learn how to submit:

1.  Your husband should give reminder spankings periodically.  Randomly, he should ask you to go retrieve an implement, bare your bottom and take a spanking even though you haven't done anything to earn it.

2.  Corner time is imperative toward submission.

3.  Spanking you to tears is necessary to break the rebellion in you.

4.  If sexual tension becomes an issue, which it often does in discipline; allow an orgasm and then issue the rest of the spanking afterwards.  His message will not be clear if you are blocked by sexual tension.

5.  You should have to ASK him for a spanking at least three times per week.  These are for the little things he doesn't know you've thought or done.

6.  While spanking you, he should be verbally reprimanding as well so that you are hearing and feeling the punishment simultaneously.

7.  Jump start your submission every six months with a breakthrough 3-7 day session.

8.  The warmer your bottom, the warmer your heart.  His swats should be fast and hard.

9.  If you haven't sobbed, you've been robbed.

10.  If he can't discipline you right away, you should journal what punishment is deserved so it can be issued later.

"Go Upstairs and Get Ready"

"Go upstairs and get ready," he said to me and my stomach wrapped into tight knots.  I knew what this sentence really meant.  It meant I was going to get a spanking, and it wasn't going to be a light, maintenance or reminder spanking; I was going to be paddled hard.

I reluctantly went upstairs, took off my clothes and put on my satin robe.  I retrieved his tools, hoping that he wouldn't use all of them and then came the hardest part, the waiting.  My stomach churned and my bottom tensed from the anticipation.

When he entered the room, I could tell he was still angry.  I had been disrespectful and my language had been exceptionally bad.  I knew what was coming. 

"I'm sorry," I said, as he pulled me up, removed my robe and laid me across his lap. 

"Not as sorry as your going to be," he answered calmly and began rubbing my bottom while verbally reprimanding me and telling me he expected better behavior.

He used his hand first, as he always does, warming me up for what was coming.  Then, he spanked me with the wooden paddle and the cane.  My bottom was bright and hot, when he pulled me up and told me to place my hands on the dresser and stick my buttocks out.  He then took the leather strap to my bottom, fifty lashes with the strap.

I had to stand for three minutes in the corner and think about my punishment.  When the three minutes was up, he asked if I felt I had been sufficiently disciplined and if I was ready to have a clean slate and move forward.  I said I was, but he could tell in my demeanor that I had yet to fully release.  He pulled me back over his lap and gave me a long, hard hand-spanking until I finally broke into sobs.

The crying was the sign that I had released the tension and was ready to move forward.  I felt so much better. 

It was a painful discipline session, but I needed it and he needed to give it to me, especially after the way I had been behaving.  I'm so thankful he loves me enough to take me over his knee and help me become all that I want to be. 

DD Breakthrough

Below is an article from a very close friend of me and my husband.  He and his wife have been living the DD lifestyle for many years and have actually taught us a lot.  Sometimes discipline gets stagnant, just as everything in life does.  When it does my ability to respect and be submissive goes by the wayside.  Our friend shared this Breakthrough procedure with us and it works wonders.  I hope this helps you, too.
DD Breakthrough

Most of my readers know that my wife and I have been in a DD (Domestic Discipline) marriage for over 15 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but even she would tell you that the benefits far outweigh the challenges.

My wife is 46 years old and I am 50 years old. We had a good balance of discipline and punishment in our home, up until this year when my wife’s behavior grew worse. Now, that is to say, worse for her. She is a kind, gentle, loving woman and a great mother to our children. But, our regular discipline no longer seemed to be working. Despite her weekly maintenance or what we call reminder spankings, I was having to punish her for things which were not the norm. Her cursing and disrespect elevated to new heights, as did her sarcasm and she was not able to be submissive. It was as if she were PMS-ing all day, every day, and even she would tell you she could not control her aggressive tendencies or attitude.

Finally, my wife went to see her doctor and we learned that she was going through menopause. A light bulb lit and I now understood why it wasn’t working for her and that she and I were going to have to start all over with her discipline.

We talked to some DD friends of ours who had a similar experience and learned that what worked best for them was a jump-start back into submission. It has worked miracles for us. It has calmed my wife and made her feel more relaxed and given her an overall better sense of well-being. She commented the other day that she felt more productive and peaceful after each discipline session and that she felt as though she had learned to trust me deeper. It has made our marriage and our home more peaceful and enjoyable. She said it and I agree that over the past several weeks we have laughed more and loved more.

Here is the system we implemented for our jump-start. I advise you follow it precisely, even though it appears rigid. The time intervals are important for two reasons: first, her bottom will need time to cool off in between sessions and second, the rigid schedule enforces her into an attitude of submission. You may change the times to fit your schedule but do not change the intervals between times. (i.e. if the schedule reads 9 and 11, you can change that to 8 and 10, as long as there remains 2 hours between sessions)

A jump start can be a 3-day, 5-day or 7-day session. The important thing is that you do not have off-days in between. If you can only do it 3 days in a row then choose and commit to the 3-day session.

3-Day Submission Session

Day 1

Wife takes off clothing because nakedness is a form of submission. You can allow a robe if you choose, but she needs to be completely naked beneath. She presents husband with a list of her discipline needs.
Have wife sit across from husband while he reads her list aloud. Husband reiterates hers and his expectations with regards to the items on the list and adds any new items they discuss. Husband needs to tell his wife that he is going to punish her for each of the items on the list as if she were in violation of each one. This is so she will be reminded of exactly what each infraction will bring her. Husband then instructs her to stand in the corner or assume a position bent over a chair, bed or countertop and await her punishment. This positioning readies her mind for submission.
Husband issues punishment for each item listed. This spanking must be hard, fast and no-nonsense. Move from one implement to the next and swat rapidly so that she cannot prepare for the next swat. She must understand that when her behavior strays the consequences will be enforced without being clouded by compassion. You love her which is why you are giving her what she needs and has asked of you. Husbands must set the bar here so set it high. This session doesn’t end until she is weeping beneath your hand.
If she fights, kicks or tries to block you, she earns 50 rapid swats with the most painful implement you possess. This is imperative to teaching her how to submit to you.
When you are finished, instruct her to stay bent over and leave her there for several minutes until she stops crying. After this, making love is optional.
Before you leave the room, instruct her that at 10:15am, she is to list the two items she needs the most work, get out the two implements she deserves most and bring them to you.
When she brings you the list of two items and two implements, you discuss and decide how many swats she will receive for each item listed.
It is recommended 75-100 swats per item. Again, this may seem like a lot, but this is a jump-start session that you don’t want your wife to forget. It will shape her going forward.
Wife is to be fully naked and bring you the first implement. It is important that she come to you with the implement as a sign of her readiness to submit. She needs to come and ask you to give her a spanking.
Spank her thoroughly and without stopping. When finished with the first item she is to stand in the corner naked until she feels ready to bring you the second implement and ask you to give her a spanking for the second item on her list.
Spank her thoroughly and without stopping. While you are spanking her you need to verbally reaffirm that you are going to work together toward better behavior in this area and that you will hold her accountable.
Tell your wife to bear her bottom immediately no matter where in the home she is, bend her over whatever object is nearby and give her a hard, old-fashioned hand spanking. Don’t stop until she is shedding real tears and your hand and her bottom are bright red. On average this is 200+ swats.
Instruct you wife to bear her bottom and stand in the corner. If she objects in any way, verbally or nonverbally, then she receives a spanking. If she submits without objection, give her a few moments in the corner and then tell her she can pull up her pants and resume her day. This is a test of how submissive her attitude is. Don’t expect her to submit without objection the first day, but by the third day she will have succeeded in learning submission.

Day 2 and Day 3 are the same schedule, but instead of going over the same list of items you are working on mastering, she will need to provide different list items. For us, Day 2 was used as a past cleansing. Behaviors or actions from the past, some for which my wife had already been punished and cleansed, but she felt she needed to address them again or more specifically and have me hold her accountable. This was a freeing day for her and for me as well. There is a cleansing in confessing our sins to one another and allowing ourselves to be punished for that sin. There is also a freedom in being able to issue the punishment when you have been wronged, to say I am going to punish you and then forgive you. It is a powerful coming together for a man and a woman. I highly recommend the past cleansing for Day 2.

Day 3 is an internal cleansing. Your wife brings to you a list of internal things, things only she knows or feels that she wants you to either know or hold her accountable for. One of these items on my wife’s list was her being internally judgmental of others. We discussed her judgments and she felt better after I had given her a hard paddling for them. These are items only your wife can list and you must be willing to help her come to terms with and overcome them.

At the end of day 3, after having received three hard spankings each day, your wife’s bottom should be adequately sore, but her ability to trust you and submit in just 3 short days will amaze you.

This probably will not happen, but if your wife requires a punishment spanking during one of these three days, issue it as you normally would. Do not wait because her bottom is sore. If you wait she will view it as instability or weakness. If she has earned a spanking, give it to her with immediacy.

See posts labeled 5-Day or 7-Day for longer sessions.